Who’s been smoking in my car!?


I’m still extremely confused by the cigarette butts I found on my car floor board this morning as I was leaving for work. Did Adam smoke in my car and not use the ashtray? Did I? Wait, we don’t smoke. Does my car even have an ashtray? A creepy feeling that a stranger was in my car without me knowing sweeps over me. And a certain I-haven’t-bathed-in-a-while stench is overwhelming.

Did I leave my car unlocked, again!? Adam will be furious. This would not be the first time I left my car unlocked. The first time I found all my stuff rummaged through, yet no windows or apparent struggle to get in was evident. My flossers, nail polish and random crap weren’t good enough for the intruder, but the stupid power drill Adam still obsesses about being stolen was. Maybe they only took the drill because of the 2 cases of bullets I keep in my car to make people think I own a gun deterred the intruder from rummaging further. The way I see it, had I locked my door, they would have busted my window and it would have been a much bigger loss for me. Adam said if I had locked it, they would have just moved on to the next car to see if that person was dumb enough to leave it unlocked. He may have said it nicer, he is a sweetheart. But the dumb comment felt implied. We just agree to disagree on this one.

The ONLY logical conclusion I can come up with based on the evidence is that a homeless person slept in my car last night, and smoked in it. And did not have the decency to use the ashtray! (If there is one) This is Houston. And I live close to downtown. This explanation makes perfect sense.

When I get to work and proclaim “a homeless person was smoking in my car last night, and slept in it”, the immediate response I get is did I not lock my car? As if this was my fault! Maybe I need to start locking my car. Or put some more bullets in there.


After thought (also known as P.S. for some reason that I will go google after this): I noticed I use a lot of contractions when I write. Probably because that is the way I speak. I went back and changed a “wouldn’t” and “weren’t” to “would not” and “were not” , just to change it up a bit. And this P.S. just taught those that aren’t as familiar with contractions (not from the south, I assume).


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