Breakin’ Necks and Cashin’ Checks


Health craze update:

I am happy to say I feel like a domesticated ruler of my world. Adam and I now have a healthy routine and it feels so grown-up and sophisticated, it freaks me out sometimes. Routine goes as such: I get home around 5:30 – 6 to find Adam starting his cardio on the treadmill. I then whip up some sort of awesome meal – I have been super creative, props to me. Then it is my turn for cardio while Adam cleans up (I clean while I cook too – don’t want to give too much credit). Then we eat, catch-up, and shower. Lunch prep begins for the next day. By this time it is usually 8 or later already. So we watch a show and unwind a bit.

How domesticated and healthy is that?! The only thing I have caved on so far is wine. I am weak and my soul needs wine. I have cut back so much though it doesn’t even feel like cheating. I’ve got to live a little anyways.

Yesterday I got a running high. That zoned out feeling while running where you feel absolutely nothing and think you could run forever. This has happened to me one other time in college. I accredited it to sorcery of some sort. The feeling was nice while it lasted and I took advantage. At this rate it seems that will happen to me only every 5 years. How do people run long distance?! It really blows my mind. Kind of like the galaxy and the human brain. These things are all on similar mind blown levels to me.

Along with the domestic domination I am feeling, I also just got a promotion to supervisor. I unofficially managed my team already, but now it is official. I was thinking a gold chain with “supervisor” might be necessary. Or a neck tat. On top of being domesticated and a supervisor, I’m also planning my wedding with minimal stress. The key is, I just don’t care. How do you want us to wear our hair? I don’t care. Who do you want to do your make-up? I don’t care. But how will people know the date if you don’t send save the dates? I don’t care. I think I have been over this before but just to re-iterate, the things I care about for my wedding are marrying the best groom in the world, looking bomb in my dress, eating delicious cake (not of the tiered, overpriced variety), an open bar, and club music aka blaring Pitbull. Oh, and the honeymoon. The end.

ALSO, I have mastered a curry dish. Add that to the list of things I have dominated lately. Just to change things up a bit in this blog, here is the recipe:

Take 3 trimmed chicken breasts and dice into cubes. Pro-tip: sharpen your knife first. I’m learning domesticated tricks the hard way. Sauté the chicken in 1 tbsp of ghee. Add salt, pepper and garlic powder and cook until the outside is completely white. You don’t have to cook the chicken all the way through. Then add coconut cream – just the top white part of a refrigerated can of coconut milk – and 1.5 cups of chicken broth. Originally I used more cream and less broth, but it was a little too sweet for me. So now I use less cream and 1.5 cups of broth. I use about 3 spoons of the cream. Now cut up some veggies to throw in. I use whatever I have that makes sense to add, which usually consists of tomatoes, carrots, red bell pepper and cabbage. I was thinking about adding zucchini to the mix too.  Next add 2-3 tbsp of curry powder. I add this much because I LOVE curry. 1-2 tbsp would suffice if you are a curry newbie. Add 1 tbsp of grated ginger. Throw in some extra cumin if you feel like it. Salt to taste. Put a lid on the pot and cook on low/med heat for 40 minutes. Should be bubbling but not too high so you don’t reduce all the liquid. After the 40 minutes add some cilantro (the more the better in my world) and ~6 pressed garlic cloves. Let cook for about 5 more minutes. You could also add cabbage or zucchini at this time if you don’t want it to become too soft with the other veggies. SO yummy. This is the recipe I modified:

  • 3 chicken breasts, cut into cubes
  • 1 tablespoon of ghee (or oil)
  • 1/2 cup of coconut cream (skim from the top of 1 refrigerated can (13.5oz) of coconut milk)
  • 1 1/2 cup chicken broth or stock
  • 2 cup diced carrots
  • Cabbage
  • 2 tomatoes, diced
  • 2 – 3 tablespoons curry powder or garam masala
  • 1 tablespoon grated ginger
  • ¼ cup cilantro, roughly chopped
  • 6 cloves garlic, minced
  • salt to taste

Your house will smell to high heaven for the next day or so, but worth it. I originally wrote “smell to high hell” since I thought that was the phrase. But then immediately thought that makes no sense and googled it. Found out it is smell to high heaven, which makes way more sense. AH-HA moment of the day.

Happy weekend to all!



paleo plus jerks plus high hormones equals hangry me


Today I am SO grumpy and I credit that mostly to day 5 of strict 30-day cleanse – no sugar (aka alcohol), no grains, no dairy, no legumes and no processed foods. You may be wondering what this leaves (funny because leaves is actually the answer) to eat, and you are also probably wondering what would possess a person to do this. The answer is proteins, veggies, fruits and most nuts, and I get on extreme kicks from time to time in order to better myself. I’m actually reeling it in to avoid being an annoying person that no one can be around. I could be looking for alternative deodorants and get rid of the microwave (Adam would murder me), but I’m trying to be reasonable. I’m also doing this because I’m vein and want to look bomb in my fitted wedding dress come April. I have done this before and days 1-3 are easy, actually fun because I get all creative with my cooking. Days 4-6 are grumpy stages because I have a slight headache from sugar withdrawals and I realize the amount of energy and time I have put into food prep in just 3 days – like a months’ worth. And I realize I HAVE to go to the store on a weeknight now in order to not fail. I’m also super competitive and failing is not a viable option.

And on top of it some people are just straight-up greedy assholes. So I keep having thoughts like “I’m going to murder someone”. Then I start to worry about being framed and remind myself NOT to say this out loud (see prior blog about fear of being framed). They (the detectives investigating the murder I was framed for) would have a motive, me being hangry (verb: a state of uncontrolled anger stemming from hunger or cravings), and me saying the word “murder”. Luckily I have kept these thoughts to myself, well not anymore I guess.

I realize a strict diet I imposed on myself and greedy assholes are not real problems so I don’t have a real reason to feel this way. But also keep in mind I’m on my last week of the pill which is the highest dose of hormones and every once in a while, this is the week I have a screaming, crying, irrational break-down. And I know I am being so crazy during these times, but there is nothing in my power to keep the crazy at bay. It drives me nuts and I feel guilty when it happens. But then I remember it is not my fault I have a womb and am trying to be responsible so I can actually plan a family one day and have a hot bod for now, so I get over it.

Adam doesn’t seem to be experiencing The Grumpy Effect. This is probably because he is just happy to still be able to eat steak and bacon. While I am excited about the bacon part, I do not enjoy steak like most Texans do. I really don’t get the appeal and I actually get grossed out sometime. It is very hippie of me and I feel like a sub-par Texan, really American, because of it. I just would not pick to eat steak if I could eat something else, like crab and truffle fries. He also claims he didn’t drink alcohol or eat sweets during the week until he met me. I call bullshit. I think he meant it like my habits turned into his habits, not like he didn’t need those things until he met me. But who knows really.

I just got a snarky email from a greedy asshole that ends with “praying for your success”. These are moments when I question everything in my 8-5 life and consider responding with WWJD in text size 1000, even though I may lose my job. I’ll just go eat my fruit and turn on Mindy Kaling now.